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Bridal Shower Etiquette

A bridal shower is historically a way to help a bride prepare for her new life in marriage. In the past, the great majority of brides did not leave their parents’ home until they were married. As a result, they needed to stock an brand new household with all kinds of things that they might have taken for granted when they lived with their families.

Today, the bridal shower is still an occasion to help a bride equip her new household. But as more and more women live away from their parents before they marry, a second purpose to the bridal shower has become evident – it’s a great time for the bride to be surrounded by the women she loves and benefit from their support and happiness for her.

Hosting the Bridal Shower

The Maid of Honor usually throws the bridal shower. It doesn’t matter if she is a relative of the bride, it is perfectly acceptable for her to host the party anyway. If the Maid of Honor is unable to host for any reason, she and the bridesmaids, with the bride’s closest female relatives, should discuss and select an alternate host.

In some cases, it make sense to throw more than one bridal shower. In this case, each shower would have a different hostess. For example, one might be for the brides’ immediate family, perhaps hosted by her mother, an aunt or other relative. The Maid of Honor might host the shower for the brides’ friends and attendants. A close coworker or business associate could host a business-only bridal shower.

The Bridal Show Guest List

With the possible exception of a business-only bridal shower, all those invited to the show should be on the wedding guest list. It is poor etiquette to invite someone to the shower and exclude them from the big day itself. However, not every woman invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the bridal shower.

You should invite:

• Mothers of the bride and groom
• Grandmothers/great grandmothers of the bride and groom
• Aunts
• Female Cousins
• Bridesmaids/female attendants
• Close friends of the bride and her family
• Close female business associates of the bride

If a guest you’d like to invite lives too far to make attending the bridal shower practical, it is still good etiquette to send them an invitation anywayto let them know you were thinking of them.

Bridal Shower Invitations

Each person invited should be sent a separate invitation, even if they live in the same household. They should be mailed about a month before the shower and should include:

• Brides name
• Date of the bridal shower
• Time of the bridal shower (beginning and ending times)
• Address where the shower will be held
• Name and phone number of the hostess (and email address, if desired)
• Theme of the shower, if there is one
• Registry information (some people consider this in poor taste; if that is the case, the hostess and those closest to the bride should use word of mouth to inform guest of where the couple is registered)
• RSVP deadline (usually two weeks before the bridal shower)
• Map/directions to the bridal shower location, with the phone number there in case people get lost

Bridal Shower Greeting

Someone, often the hostess, should be designated to greet guests as they arrive – some people may not know many of the other guests, or even any of them. If the hostess doesn’t know most of the invited guests, she can “team great” with a family member, business associate, or other guest who is likely to know the people that the hostess does not. Things the greeter(s) should tell guests as they arrive include:

• Where to put their coats/personal belongings
• Where to put their gift for the bride
• Where to get refreshments
• Where to sit, if applicable

It is also helpful to introduce guests who don’t know many people to others before the shower gets into full swing.

Bridal Shower Icebreakers & Bridal Shower Games

Many bridal showers start with a bridal shower games or other icebreakers to help guests interact with each other and kick off the party mood. In addition to being a lot of laughs, bridal shower games are great ways to let your guests get to know each other and often learn more about the bride and groom. At the very least, everyone should introduce themselves by name and how they are related to the bride.

Bridal Shower Thank You Notes

The hostess or another designated guest should be responsible for getting the names and addresses of each guest, and listing what each guest gave as a bridal shower gift, so that the bride can write thank you notes. The thank you notes should be sent within a week of the bridal shower.