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Should a birth parent send or be mentioned on wedding invitations?

Q. I have a 34 year old daughter to is marrying for the second time. I had her placed for adoption at birth and six years ago we found each other and I am part of her life.

Her adopted parents and I communicate and I am blessed to have such a wonderful relationship.

My question is: Is it proper for me to send invitations to my family and friends? I would love for them to go to the wedding but don’t want them to feel obligated to buy a present. I was not a part of her life for the first marriage She has met several of my friends and some of the family.

Also what would be proper on the invitations? Should I be acknowledged at all as her birth mother?

A. It would not be appropriate for you to send invitations to the wedding unless you are paying for it. If the bride and groom are paying for their own wedding, the invitations should be sent by them. There is no reason the bride shouldn't add your friends and family to the guest list if she desires.

Again assuming they are hosting the wedding, the invitations would usually not mention any parents by name, although the wording might be:

Together with Their Parents
Mary Jane Doe
and
Jack Smith
request the honor of your presence at their wedding

If you are hosting the wedding, the wording might be:

Mrs. Jane Jones (or Mr. and Mrs. Jack Jones)
request the honor of your presence at the wedding of
Mary Jane Doe
and
Jack Smith

If the bride's or groom's parents (by adoption or not) are hosting the wedding, the invitation would come from them in the traditional manner.

There is not reason to mention that you are her birth parent on an invitation.

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