Wedding Etiquette Questions: Ask the Etiquist

Should the bride's father or stepfather walk her down the aisle?

Q. The bride's parents have been divorce since she was 2, she is now 24. Both parents are remarried (mom was remarried immediately after divorce). The bride's father was very much involved with her even through the bride lived with mom & step dad until she was 17, at which time she came to live with father.

Father is remarried and stepmother is very much a part of bride's life, stepmother has known her since she was 4 years old.

Who should walk her down the isle, what is proper?

Bride is stressed over this because mom is putting on the pressure to have step dad walk her down the isle. The bride and her father are very close and have always been. Mother of bride is very much pushing that everything be very proper. The cost of the wedding is being split between the two parents.

A. There some options in this scenario, some depending on whether or not there is animosity among any parties.

If the parents are not hostile toward one another, it is perfectly acceptable for the bride's mother and father to jointly walk her down the aisle, a Jewish tradition that is now used by members of all denominations when desired. Her stepmother and stepfather could be seated like any other guests.

The brides stepfather, with or without her mother, could precede the bride down the aisle, with her walking alone and her father following, with or without her stepmother.

Or, the bride's father could walk her partway down the aisle, and her stepfather walk her the rest of the way - somewhat symbolic of her father walking beside her in early life and her stepfather in later life.

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